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jhojamillan

The cockroach

Updated: Oct 5, 2023




I have never played piano, I love music, in fact I can't live without it. I love turning the volume up very high when I'm writing. I am not a pianist, but when I write I become one, because I feel that the computer keyboard is like the keys of a piano for a writer.



If I could describe my writing process, I could say that my hands begin to move on their own, I breathe heavily as if to allow myself to be possessed by that something bigger than me, it can be called God, Universe, Nature, Dimensions, I really don't know. Not every day I have the same inspiration, nor can I plan much what I am going to write. Rationally, I might have a little idea, but it's just that, an idea. Sometimes I have no c…idea either. I laugh at myself because the art of expressing is that feeling possessed or providing oneself as a channel to communicate. In the end that's what we need: EXPRESS OURSELVES. Either way, there is a lot of energy inside that needs to be released. Like that cockroach that is hanging around the kitchen and you tell it to “throw it out” and you do everything possible to throw the poor cockroach away. There is no room for both in this same house. I am very jealous about that, in my house, the cockroach has to be outside. How must she feel? Well, who sends her to enter places where she is not welcome. He does the begging and she insists on getting back in. How annoying is the girl! But that's the way it is, cockroaches have always survived major catastrophes for millions of years because they have the power of resilience, they adapt, camouflage themselves and always get what they want. They settle for breadcrumbs and share the crumbs with their friends. One thinks, What a disgusting cockroach! Disgust? They make fun of them, because they are more intelligent than any human. The unfortunate ones laugh in my face!


The fact is that “outside” all those mental cockroaches that are taking away our desire to live or our desire to believe... because I repeat, the problem IS NOT THE COCKROACHES! The problem is that we do not know how to “get out”. We believe that by swallowing and repressing that carousel of emotions that is electric inside making a short circuit, we free ourselves from the cockroaches.



While you keep thinking about how to say what you don't know, how to do what you've never learned, how to keep thinking about how many days are in the next month, keep tying words in a fictitious knot, you have to remember that the cockroaches that They stay in the house and are not welcome at all, but rather the crazy ones are intruders and agile... they rot because they can't find a way out...


The same thing happens with intrusive thoughts, with blocked energy, with repressed art... you have to get out or find a way out because if not, those cockroaches make nests in the skin and that itches a lot, it itches horribly...

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